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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

"The day my son was bullied"

Almost 11 years of motherhood....and nothing, I mean NOTHING will prepare you for the day your child comes home crying over being bullied. This hurt me so bad!! Bullying is a big problem. Most say name calling and teasing just part of growing up, It is often overlooked as kids just being kids. Bullying can leave a deep emotional scar. Well what about when it becomes more than words?? What about when words become hits??
 
Kids can be so brutal. As parents we think we have this all planned out from the moment we knew we would be parents. We do everything in our power to raise our children to be Kind and Caring. We want them to have Self control, Wisdom, Courage, and Compassion towards others. We want them to be NICE. Every parent wants to raise *nice* children. Don't get me wrong, I like my kids to be nice. But what about the times they can no longer be nice?? What about the times they are being hit or shoved around??

 This is such a hard place in life for me as a mother. My Mom raised me not to take crap from anyone. She always said "Do not start a fight, but you darn sure better finish it" and "Only hit if they hit first." Well when is it okay to hit back?? I don't want to teach my children to be violent but at the same time I don't want them to be walked over or pushed around. We always hear "tell a adult first." The truth is telling a adult only works about 50% of the time. What is a child to do when the adults keep overlooking them??  As I have said before I do NOT condone hitting. But bullies will always be bullies unless they are stood up to. How do we bully proof our kids?? I am lost and would love any advice? I have found a great website every parent/teacher should have on hand.  A TIP SHEET FROM THE SITE BELOW
 
@ STOMP Out Bullying.COM
 

TIP SHEET

Bullying is an intentional, aggressive and repeated behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength. The various forms of Bullying are:

  • Physical
  • Verbal
  • Emotional
  • Sexual
  • Racist Bullying
  • Cyberbullying
  • Hazing
  • We also know that Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. 1 out of 4 kids is bullied and 42% of kids have been bullied while online. Child and teen Bullying and Cyber-bullying are at an all-time high. Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them. It has everyone worried. Not just the kids on its receiving end, but the parents, teachers and others who may not understand how extreme bullying can get.
    • 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied
    • 9 out of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school
    • Child and teen Bullying and Cyberbullying are at an all-time high
    • Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them
    • 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying"
    • 8% of students miss at least 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies
    • 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school
    • A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools
    • 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month
    • More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school
    • 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight
    • 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone
    • 2 out of 3 say they know how to make a bomb, or know where to get the information to do it
    • Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention -4% Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.

    What We Know About Cyberbullying

    • Depending on the age group, up to 40% of students say they have been digitally harassed
    • 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once
    • 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages
    • 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than   once
    • 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.
    • 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online

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