The Best Of Both Worlds

The Best Of Both Worlds

 This was a hard post. This was a hard picture, a picture that has been a long time coming. It has taken nearly 7 years to get to this point. 4 parents at games and events. We communicate more about the kids. We still don’t always see eye to eye. No where near 100% yet......... it's a work in progress. We are not in love. A lot of the time we don't agree. We are NOT and will NEVER th

e best of friends. Most of the time we can't even even stand to be around each other. But you know what we are??

 
We are their family. We are forever connected because of our children. They deserve to have a relationship with their mother, father, and step parents regardless of how you feel about the other party. Once you have kids together you become a family. No marriage license/divorce certificate will ever change that. Once you are with someone with kids you become part of their family. There will be times all 4 if you will be at one event. Be civil. Even though this is difficult, don't give up. Your continued effort to be civil with your ex benefits all of your children. It lowers their stress level and allows them to be confident in their perception of the future. And with time, communication between you will get easier. 

The greatest gift divorced parents can give their children is the sense that they’re still a family and for them to see that the new spouse's are also a part of that family. It hasn’t been easy and will continue to require work on everyone’s part. Y'all need to understand that your children love all of you. They want you all to be happy in your grown up lives. Most of all they will be troubled when you fight in front of them. Keep your disagreements between yourselves. We can make this what we want to. There are no rules or limits. The building blocks for your child’s future relationships start at home. Think about this and act accordingly, for you are all important factors in the child's life.

Kids in a love Triangle

*KIDS STUCK IN A LOVE TRIANGLE*

 

PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG BELOW

 

https://youtu.be/7FUVdTEQxu8

 



This song.....oh this song!!!! Today is such a emotional day. I burst into tears when this came on. It's their visitation with their daddy this weekend. I never imagined that I would be that mom. That DIVORCED mom who has to basically share her children. I knew first hand that growing up with divorced parents is not something I wanted for my children. Children get caught in a triangle.

 

 But here we are. Jackson running through the house looking for big brother Blake to help him with a game. I didn't want this life for them. Jackson asking why he can't go Memaws with them. I didn't want this life for them. My children only being kissed by one parent every night. I didn't want that for them. I didn't want them bringing him school projects of their family and having to explain to their friends why they have one mom but two drawings of dads in the picture when they ask. And that they have a sister but she don't live with them. I don't like waking up to check on my kids and them not be there. I don't like that one or two Sundays a month when they are not in church on Sunday morning.

 

It's this feeling of failing as a parent. But you(I) have NOT failed!!!! All families have problems. Divorce is just one problem that some of us have. Marriage is like a rope. Some are strong and some are so weak that they break. Then there is kids. Children are diamonds that will last forever. With strong influence from both parents, your children will absolutely sparkle. You have lost a marriage, not your children. Not the ability to be a GREAT mother.

 

 Your marriage doesn't determine your abilities to be good parents period. If anything, your ability to remain a good mom or dad throughout stress and heartache of a divorce should make you that much proud. Parents if you are going through divorce, don’t waste time worrying about how divorce will affect your children and instead pour all of that energy into self-control and self-awareness as you raise them. Keep negative words and thoughts between the adults. Your kids are like a little dry sponge, soaking up everything that you put out.

 

 Their grown hearts will be full of the things they hear as children. And their future will be shaped by the decisions you make. You as their parents hold their future in your hands.If you are a parent who is committed to creating stable environment for your kids....then they will be fine. At least as fine as everyone else’s kids in todays world. Lol.

Why you shouldnt marry him.

Stop Girl, STOP, Read the signs!!!!

Unfortunately, there aren’t classes in school teaching us how to choose a great romantic partner.  Marriage is a HUGE commitment. It should be for a lifetime. But lets face the facts.......It sometimes ends in divorce. If you are thinking about getting married make sure no signs point to "you shouldn't marry him."  Look for the clues.

 If he cant hold a job girl you better dash . I don’t know about you but I do not want a guy that I have to support. If your boyfriend cannot hold a job, don’t enter into a marriage with him. Of course, we have all had jobs that don’t work out. However, if your boyfriend is being constantly fired or quitting jobs, that deserves some serious consideration. That is probably a big clue to you as to what marriage is going to be like. If he is always lying. I think we could all agree on the fact that any great relationship is based on pure honesty. If you are not able to be straightforward with him and if he has to hide a part of his life from you, the talk about marriage shouldn't even come up. Marriage should be a commitment between two best friends, who hide nothing from each other no matter how awful it may be. If he will lie about something small then he will about the big stuff. 

  If he is controlling. They almost like to 'claim their property' and make it official. His desire for control will only grow from there, he will prevent you from seeing your friends and even family. Proposal should be an act of unconditional love, claiming that you are the one he wants to grow old with.

You don’t trust each other. If one of you is compelled to read the other’s texts and check their Facebook and give the third-degree after a night out, you need to get to the root of why there’s so much snooping. Is it because you truly believe your partner is being shady? Is it his insecurity showing through? Whatever the reason, it’s not a good sign. (And if your partner is constantly checking in on your personal accounts, you could be in an abusive relationship).

If a man is verbally, physically, or mentally abusive . What he does, and not what he says, is what matters here. So, please leave any situation where your mental, emotional, and/or physical well-being is in danger. That also goes for the men who abuse their own bodies by using drugs or drinking too much. If you two fight all the time when you are dating, chances are it'll be 10 times worse when you are married. If you cant work out problems while you are just dating then its best not to marry. If your boyfriend is mean to you. You know that person who insults you and then says they are “joking” and that you’re “too sensitive” when your face turns red and your eyes start filling with tears? Yeah, that person should not be your life partner.

  

If your partner has a history of being a player, leaving a trail of short-lived flings and broken hearts behind him or her, you should definitely think about marrying the person.

 If he cringes whenever he is around your child. Or he screams bloody murder when Sue or Bob touches his laptop or his new Nike shoes. Eventually, you will get the feeling that not only does he hate your children, but he also hates all children! This spells trouble.And a future divorce.

Never marry someone hoping they will change. Marry someone because they already have changed. Not only do you need to reconsider marrying him , you need to reconsider dating him. So, apply these tips into your current relationship and be truthful about who you are, what you need, and your partner. Don’t let the pressure of wanting to tie the knot weigh so heavily on your shoulders that you marry the wrong man.