The time we ALMOST had a night

TICKETS TO SEE CLAY WALKER

 

We almost had a night out. But then almost doesn't count. Six tickets to see Clay Walker live at Lady Luck casino. (Whose real name is Ernest Clayton Walker, Jr) Must be 21 to attend. The excitement sit in. I couldn't tell you the last time we went out as on a date Adults (With no kids). So I think excitement was kind of a under statement. Lol. We had a little over a week to plan and fine a sitter for our kids. Let me remind you we had 4 kids. You can image how hard it is to find a sitter only giving a weeks notice. Yeah, its pretty hard. We had planned on Molly staying at a friends, Devin and Jack going to their cousins house, and Blake wanted to go stay with his friend. We had a dependable sitter for them all.

 

So Saturday rolls around and to our surprise, We now have one Child with a sitter. 11 hours before the show starts one calls and says her kids are sick and she cant watch Molly. The other got carried away with life and forgot. What are we going to do now?? I spent a few hours trying to find back up sitters. No luck. It just wasn't meant to happen. I posted the tickets online for anyone who wanted them. I had a few people interested but no one ever came to get them.

 

We didn't get to go see Clay Walker. But what happened that night will mean so much more to my children later in life. We had a family movie night. We played games and colored as a family.  

I had a whole conversation with my oldest about *gasp* puberty. I grew up with mostly girls in the house. So that was awkward at first. I knew sooner or later it would happen. He is at the age he is getting hair everywhere and asking about it. Sit down Blake, let's talk. 

 

Supper time rolled around. Devin wanted to help. He begged me to help. The stove top was already full. I had nothing else to cook. I told him to grab a can of peas out of the cabinet. He learned how to cook peas in the microwave. He learned how to measure a tablespoon of butter. He learned a lifetime lesson. 

My youngest son let my cut his hair. Let me remind you he hasnt had a hair cut in about 9 months(he had a self grown mullet). You are probably thinking "what's so special about that?" He has major sensory issues. Just washing his hair with soap is a fight, let alone buzzing it off with clippers. But we took it slow and it took nearly a hour. It happened!! The mullet was finally gone. 

 

Molly, my sweet Molly. 10 o'clock rolls around and she asked me to braid her hair. It's a weekend so why not? We can all sleep in tomorrow morning. Not only did she get to have her hair braided. She learned how to braid. So she braided her own hair. Needless to say every doll in the house has braids. She even tried to braid the dogs hair. 

 

After bedtime stories and prayers I crawled into bed with 6 tickets (planning to throw them in the trash as I walked by can)As I cling tightly to them, I thought, I have 6 tickets that remind me of the time I "almost" meet Clay Walker. 6 tickets to remind me I am mom of 4, so going out isn't much of a option. 6 tickets to remind of the time I "almost" had a babysitter. 6 tickets to remind me that we will probably never get this opportunity again. 

Then I realized my kids won't remember that time we dropped them off at a sitters house to go see Clay Walker. They will remember all the memories we made on the night momma and daddy spent with them. After all the favorite memories are never planned at all.
It’s no mistake that God gave us the gift of memory. I think the most important way to build memories is spending time with your kids.  
What better way to show your love for your kids than to give them your time and make memories. Our Father in Heaven is the same way. His desire to commune with us is a mirror into the importance of parents spending time with their children. Can you remember a time when God’s presence was so real that the only thing you wanted to do all day was to stay there? In that moment, you made a memory with the Lord.

I need to frame theses. I think this Friday I will. Not as a reminder of what we missed but a reminder of what we could have missed if we would have went.



"I AM 1 IN 4"

Once again we have lost another pregnancy.

Okay, it’s been a long time since I’ve written, and a lot of crazy stuff has happened, some good, some bad. Anyways, I knew that one day I'd write this blog. 7 confirmed pregnancy test. But only 4 births. Yes, I'm the mother of 7 beautiful children. I am blessed with children here on earth, and I'm blessed to have children in Heaven. I am 1 in 4. I'm opening up a part of my heart to the world that I've kept closed too long.

On May 15th( a day after my birthday)I found out I was pregnant a day after I missed my period. For the record weren't trying, and I was scared and confused about my feelings. I'll be honest I was terrified. We already had 4. Michael was okay with the thought of having another. I cried. We really didn't need another one at the time. That first night I went to bed crying with Michaels hand rubbing my belly and telling me everything was gonna be fine. Shortly afterwards I found myself looking at baby clothes, and We were even discussing names. The excitement was starting to really kick in.
 

Then one July day I went to the emergency room with strong pain and bleeding. I was sitting in the waiting room and started bleeding everywhere. To the point they had to call for clean up. I remember asking God to either stop the bleeding or just hurry up and take the baby, I had already had enough with a miscarriage a few years before. Finally we got called back. They had me pee in a cup and put on a hospital gown, the whole work up. Then they took me for a scan.

I was rolled into the ultrasound technician’s room and he placed the cold ultrasound probe on my small pregnant bump. For about 5 minutes he pushed buttons, took measurements, but didn't say a thing to me. I was getting irritated and asked him if everything was alright. He said I had to talk to my doctor. My heart sank. He squinted at the screen. He said he would be right back. I think I knew deep down after all the pain and blood there would be nothing there. I laid on that hospital bed it seemed like 30 long minutes before anyone came and rolled me back to my room. I sit hand in hand with Michael just looking at the door knowing the enormous possibility that we lost our baby. Then the door handle moved. That's when the ER doctor came in to give me my results. "I am so sorry but we found no heartbeat." Words that will forever haunt me. The flood of tears ran down.  Part of me actually felt very emotionless. I felt numb. I felt betrayed, once again, by my body. We lost our baby. I lost another baby. Was it a boy or girl?? Was it my fault?? What did I do wrong??

At home I climbed into bed. I cried and I felt pure GUILT. I am MOM. I am supposed to protect my child. I cried and cried. I laid in bed most of the day and then got up to to take a shower. I know it’s strange, but the shower is where I go whenever I am really upset or hurt. It makes me feel better and is a good place to pray and be alone. I remember sitting there in the tub letting the shower water run all over my head, crying and wondering why this had happened. What did I do?? Why did God allow this to happen once again?? I was upset with God. I felt  like God had given me something and then changed his mind.

 It was then that I remembered a verse from the Bible: “…the Lord gave and the lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). I realized that God had given me this baby, He could also choose to take it home to be with Him if that was His will. I had a sudden peace at the thought.

More than one in seven pregnancies result in miscarriage. Miscarriage seems so rare until you find out it isn't and for that reason alone people should know that it CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. I am 27and have had no surgeries or medical complications in my life and still, I went through this 3 times.                   
 

Sadly miscarriage is one of the most common and significant losses in a woman’s life, yet no one talks about it, no one openly discusses it and no one understands it. Sharing stories of miscarriage often helps those who are grieving heal, and those who may be in the midst feel connected.
 

 Sources vary, but many estimate that approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage; and some estimates are as high as 1 in 3. If you include loss that occurs before a positive pregnancy test, some estimate that 40% of all conceptions result in loss. 

Although statistics can vary slightly from one source to the next, here is a general account (based primarily on information provided by the March of Dimes) of the frequency of miscarriages in the United States:

•       There are about 4.4 million confirmed pregnancies in the U.S. every year.
•       900,000 to 1 million of those end in pregnancy losses EVERY year.
•       More than 500,000 pregnancies each year end in miscarriage (occurring during the first 20 weeks).
•       Approximately 26,000 end in stillbirth (considered stillbirth after 20 weeks)
•       Approximately 19,000 end in infant death during the first month.
•       Approximately 39,000 end in infant death during the first year.
•       Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage; some estimates are as high as 1 in 3. If you include loss that occurs before a positive pregnancy test, some estimate that 40% of all conceptions result in loss.
•       Approximately 75% of all miscarriages occur in the first trimester.
•       An estimated 80% of all miscarriages are single miscarriages.  The vast majority of women suffering one miscarriage can expect to have a normal pregnancy next time.
•       An estimated 19% of the adult population has experienced the death of a child (this includes miscarriages through adult-aged children).