The Greatest Gift

Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands. Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God. Be a person in whom they can have faith. When you are old, nothing else you've done will have mattered as much.

The Best Of Both Worlds

The Best Of Both Worlds

 This was a hard post. This was a hard picture, a picture that has been a long time coming. It has taken nearly 7 years to get to this point. 4 parents at games and events. We communicate more about the kids. We still don’t always see eye to eye. No where near 100% yet......... it's a work in progress. We are not in love. A lot of the time we don't agree. We are NOT and will NEVER th

e best of friends. Most of the time we can't even even stand to be around each other. But you know what we are??

 
We are their family. We are forever connected because of our children. They deserve to have a relationship with their mother, father, and step parents regardless of how you feel about the other party. Once you have kids together you become a family. No marriage license/divorce certificate will ever change that. Once you are with someone with kids you become part of their family. There will be times all 4 if you will be at one event. Be civil. Even though this is difficult, don't give up. Your continued effort to be civil with your ex benefits all of your children. It lowers their stress level and allows them to be confident in their perception of the future. And with time, communication between you will get easier. 

The greatest gift divorced parents can give their children is the sense that they’re still a family and for them to see that the new spouse's are also a part of that family. It hasn’t been easy and will continue to require work on everyone’s part. Y'all need to understand that your children love all of you. They want you all to be happy in your grown up lives. Most of all they will be troubled when you fight in front of them. Keep your disagreements between yourselves. We can make this what we want to. There are no rules or limits. The building blocks for your child’s future relationships start at home. Think about this and act accordingly, for you are all important factors in the child's life.

MY CHILDREN TAUGHT ME

I am so ungrateful at times. But one things is for sure I will ALWAYS be grateful GOD chose me to be their mother!!!! They have taught me PATIENCE. It's impossible to raise happy, loving, forgiving children without patience. Patience when waiting for your turn in the bathroom. Patience when they are screaming and fighting all day. Patience when that little one dragging the purple unicorn is walking slow but sweetly to the van when you are already running late.

 They have taught me FORGIVENESS. They showed me to forgive even when someone doesn't deserve it. They have forgave me when I forgot about school project. They have forgave me when I that time I selfishly yelled at them to be quite cause I had a headache. They have taught me UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. No matter how many times you fail, no matter how many times you mess up or forget they will always have this undying love for you.

They taught me to be SELFLESS. You can't be selfish mother. It's no longer about you when you have children. They have taught me KINDNESS. PEACE. JOY. COMPASSION......They are sadden when they see that sick child or animal on TV. They go sit with the elderly on Sunday who may need that extra loving.

They taught me the LOVE OF GOD!! I see GOD in them daily. I see GOD using them to draw me closer to him. In those moments of troubled times and pain when I doubt God.... when I am asking where he actually is....in walks one of the kids with a whole message from God....saying "HERE I AM, I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG."

<<Cause SAHMS are so lazy>>

So I overheard  two "working moms" talking the other day........And I was about 10 seconds away from going crazy on these ladies!! One said she would go nuts if she spent every hour of every day with her kids. I guess you are asking yourself if you read that correctly .....Right?? Yes, you read it correct. Then the other said "They don't do anything all day anyway, they have it so easy".  One went on to say housewives are lazy.  So apparently Stay At Home Moms do noting all day long!! Who knew?? I don't know about anyone else but my life as a SAHM is MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY exhausting. Its the most challenging thing that I have ever done. I wished I could say that I get to sit on my behind watching Netflix all day. Lol.

 Being a SAHM isn't considered a "JOB" to most. Why? Because you don't get a paycheck every week/two weeks?? We get paid in messy kisses and big hugs. Its not those fat paychecks you get....but no amount of money would ever buy back the time I would miss with my kids if I worked a "JOB". As a SAHM don't have a set schedule that you have to work. You can't just put in 8 hours and just be done. When you are a SAHM the jobs are endless. You are the cook, the maid, the nurse, the teacher, the ATM, the alarm clock, the referee, the taxi, the therapist.......it goes on and on.  

You are on call 24/7. 365 days a year. Your work hours are endless. You have no breaks. You get no vacation time. You have no sick days. If you are sick you have to suck it up and tend to your family/house as normal. We always have someone needing us or wanting something from us. We give our kids love, time, and our energy. Mothering is a job and a gift at the same time. And If you really think being a stay at home mom is so easy.....then why don't you try?? Yes, I am a stay at home mom. That doesn't mean I am lazy, stupid, or uneducated. I work hard every day.....24 hours a day. But can honestly say " I LOVE MY JOB"  Can you??

"The day my son was bullied"

Almost 11 years of motherhood....and nothing, I mean NOTHING will prepare you for the day your child comes home crying over being bullied. This hurt me so bad!! Bullying is a big problem. Most say name calling and teasing just part of growing up, It is often overlooked as kids just being kids. Bullying can leave a deep emotional scar. Well what about when it becomes more than words?? What about when words become hits??
 

Kids can be so brutal. As parents we think we have this all planned out from the moment we knew we would be parents. We do everything in our power to raise our children to be Kind and Caring. We want them to have Self control, Wisdom, Courage, and Compassion towards others. We want them to be NICE. Every parent wants to raise *nice* children. Don't get me wrong, I like my kids to be nice. But what about the times they can no longer be nice?? What about the times they are being hit or shoved around??

 This is such a hard place in life for me as a mother. My Mom raised me not to take crap from anyone. She always said "Do not start a fight, but you darn sure better finish it" and "Only hit if they hit first." Well when is it okay to hit back?? I don't want to teach my children to be violent but at the same time I don't want them to be walked over or pushed around. We always hear "tell a adult first." The truth is telling a adult only works about 50% of the time. What is a child to do when the adults keep overlooking them??  As I have said before I do NOT condone hitting. But bullies will always be bullies unless they are stood up to. How do we bully proof our kids?? I am lost and would love any advice? I have found a great website every parent/teacher should have on hand.  A TIP SHEET FROM THE SITE BELOW

 

@ STOMP Out Bullying.COM

 

TIP SHEET

Bullying is an intentional, aggressive and repeated behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength. The various forms of Bullying are:

Physical

Verbal

Emotional

Sexual

Racist Bullying

Cyberbullying

Hazing

We also know that Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. 1 out of 4 kids is bullied and 42% of kids have been bullied while online. Child and teen Bullying and Cyber-bullying are at an all-time high. Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them. It has everyone worried. Not just the kids on its receiving end, but the parents, teachers and others who may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

• 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied
• 9 out of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school
• Child and teen Bullying and Cyberbullying are at an all-time high
• Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them
• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying"
• 8% of students miss at least 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies
• 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school
• A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month
• More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school
• 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight
• 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone
• 2 out of 3 say they know how to make a bomb, or know where to get the information to do it
• Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention -4% Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.
  

What We Know About Cyberbullying

• Depending on the age group, up to 40% of students say they have been digitally harassed
• 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once
• 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages
• 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than   once
• 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.
• 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online

Kids in a love Triangle

*KIDS STUCK IN A LOVE TRIANGLE*

 

PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG BELOW

 

https://youtu.be/7FUVdTEQxu8

 



This song.....oh this song!!!! Today is such a emotional day. I burst into tears when this came on. It's their visitation with their daddy this weekend. I never imagined that I would be that mom. That DIVORCED mom who has to basically share her children. I knew first hand that growing up with divorced parents is not something I wanted for my children. Children get caught in a triangle.

 

 But here we are. Jackson running through the house looking for big brother Blake to help him with a game. I didn't want this life for them. Jackson asking why he can't go Memaws with them. I didn't want this life for them. My children only being kissed by one parent every night. I didn't want that for them. I didn't want them bringing him school projects of their family and having to explain to their friends why they have one mom but two drawings of dads in the picture when they ask. And that they have a sister but she don't live with them. I don't like waking up to check on my kids and them not be there. I don't like that one or two Sundays a month when they are not in church on Sunday morning.

 

It's this feeling of failing as a parent. But you(I) have NOT failed!!!! All families have problems. Divorce is just one problem that some of us have. Marriage is like a rope. Some are strong and some are so weak that they break. Then there is kids. Children are diamonds that will last forever. With strong influence from both parents, your children will absolutely sparkle. You have lost a marriage, not your children. Not the ability to be a GREAT mother.

 

 Your marriage doesn't determine your abilities to be good parents period. If anything, your ability to remain a good mom or dad throughout stress and heartache of a divorce should make you that much proud. Parents if you are going through divorce, don’t waste time worrying about how divorce will affect your children and instead pour all of that energy into self-control and self-awareness as you raise them. Keep negative words and thoughts between the adults. Your kids are like a little dry sponge, soaking up everything that you put out.

 

 Their grown hearts will be full of the things they hear as children. And their future will be shaped by the decisions you make. You as their parents hold their future in your hands.If you are a parent who is committed to creating stable environment for your kids....then they will be fine. At least as fine as everyone else’s kids in todays world. Lol.

Leaving behind in 2016

New years is a wonderful time of our life, it’s when we celebrate the new upcoming year and say good bye to the previous year.



"Things I learned in 2016"

1. 2016 was HARD for us all!!

2. Sometimes friends treat you better than family.

3. Loving yourself is important!!

4. God will still be there when all else fails.

5. The most important things in life have nothing to do with actual things.

6. There is a blessing in every lesson.

7. Some people aren’t really all that they “post” to be.

8. Death gives no warning.

9. Life is unexpected.

10. Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.

11. Blogging is actually hard.

12. A divorce can take longer than a year!!

13. Children are so forgiving.

14. Don't put off till tomorrow what you can get done today!!

15. Moms do make mistakes.

Let us all welcome the coming New Year with open hearts and remember all the moments from 2016 that made us who we are.

I was called to be a tired mom.

 

A tired mom is my calling.

 

As  I was looking over our weekly Sunday picture, I noticed I looked so tired. I looked exhausted. When did I become so tired looking?? What happened to that young lady who wanted a job modeling?? Why is it that a mother has the most important job on earth, yet among today's standards, her job is the least appreciated??

 

When you are a mother , your life is given to taking care of people. Children whose wants never seem to cease. Sometimes when your days seem to be completely taken up with cleaning things, dishes and laundry, little nasty snot noses and great big sad tears. Then you wonder about what "fulfillment" is supposed to mean for you. You wonder about being (besides the perfect wife and mother) creative, smart, beautiful. And slowly the dreams you once had seem to disappear when you hear............You mean that's all you do?" That's all?

The meaning of being a mother is endless. A mother is a protector, disciplinarian and friend. A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, most rewarding job a woman will ever experience.

I am just learning that in order for me to laugh more, stress less, and have a calmer attitude, I need to give up my prideful side. The side that always thinks about what I lost out on when I became a mother. What are we teaching our children when we act that way?? I am still learning how to be a selfless mom. But I am strongly working on it. I stay reminding myself what my priorities are in life. And my children are defiantly my number one priority.

According to an ancient Jewish proverb, "God could not be everywhere, and therefore He made mothers." I pray my children will one day say "mother put herself on hold as she was raising us. She put us first, always; and she was second." If our calling is to be mothers, let's be mothers with all our hearts--gladly, simply, and humbly. A mothers love will never end.

Be Still My Heart

Be Still My Heart



Oh, my heart!! My heart is so overwhelmed. I just received this picture from Jacks teacher. Instantly started crying. Student of the month!! Wait!? My kid?? My Jack??

 Wow!! This is may Jack!! This is the same kid who kicked and screamed his first 7 weeks of school. Like any other mother who has a child with special needs, I had mixed emotions about him starting school, especially so early. I was terrified for him. But the school does everything in their power to make him feel... safe, comfortable and happy.

 

This is the same little boy who hates going anywhere with a crowd of people. He won't even eat in a restaurant (unless we are the only ones there). But does so great in school. In May he wasn't even talking. Only simple words. Now he can talk in small sentences. And has even started talking at school this month. We may not have it together at home (probably never will).....but he sure has everything together at school. He is able to control himself for nearly 5 hours everyday.

 

This is what progress looks like. Its scary being a parent of a child with learning disabilities , last year I was told by one of his teachers "It’s OK to be scared mom. He's scared, also. But I promise you, everything will be okay. Better than okay. We will do everything in our power to help your child thrive." And that is exactly what this whole school has done for us.

4 kids in sports

All My Kids Play Sports

For the last 5 years I've been a sports mom of four. Yes, you read that right. All four of my kids play sports. Its no easy task to be the parent of young athletes. They are all athletic. Something they sure didn't get from my side of them family.  My life had never included anything athletic. I come from a family who would prefer not to sweat or even run unless we were being chased by Michael Myers. Even then we would probably hide somewhere and pray for the best. For whatever reason God seen it fit to make me the mother of not one, but four really active children. For kids who love playing sports. Baseball, Softball, Tee-ball, Football, Basketball, and Cheerleading. Playing sports is fun. It gives your child something to do and a group to belong to. They have a group of friends that has the same goals and interests.

 

I've just about seen it all when it comes to youth sports. The good, the bad, and the not so nice. For the most part they work hard at it. Practices can be so overwhelming at times for their little bodies. The games can be physically exhausting. The games can either lead to a overjoyed child from a win or a heartbroken child from a one point  lose. They work hard. They work really hard.
 

Mom has it hard also. First its getting all the sports fees paid, signing all the liability papers and getting them turned in to each coach. (They have had Great coaches and they have even had horrible coaches) Shopping for equipment is a bank-braker. Football and Basketball, not so bad. Now Baseball.....that's a different story. Have you ever bought a baseball bat?? They are anywhere from $50(cheap) to $300!! For one bat!! After you have all the supplies on each checklist....that's when the running around beings.

 

We average about 4 practices a week. Sometimes 3, sometimes 6 depending on the weather. 2 to 4 games a week. Getting them to practice or games on time is hectic. Load the van with all their equipment. Don't forget the cooler full of drinks and snacks. Everyone is in the van ready to go when all of the sudden someone had to pee.......someone forgot their cleats. Getting them where they are supposed to be on time is a absolute nightmare. We spend more time in the van going from point A to point B than we do at the actual game.

I’m constantly thinking how are we going to manage, how am I going to get them there on time and how in the heck am I going to afford all of this!! But you stick with it all. Because they like it. They want to play sports. Because the joy they recive from one win is so great. Because you love when they wave and yell "mom" from the field. Because you are proud of them all. Mothers are the backbone of sports teams.

The time we ALMOST had a night

TICKETS TO SEE CLAY WALKER

 

We almost had a night out. But then almost doesn't count. Six tickets to see Clay Walker live at Lady Luck casino. (Whose real name is Ernest Clayton Walker, Jr) Must be 21 to attend. The excitement sit in. I couldn't tell you the last time we went out as on a date Adults (With no kids). So I think excitement was kind of a under statement. Lol. We had a little over a week to plan and fine a sitter for our kids. Let me remind you we had 4 kids. You can image how hard it is to find a sitter only giving a weeks notice. Yeah, its pretty hard. We had planned on Molly staying at a friends, Devin and Jack going to their cousins house, and Blake wanted to go stay with his friend. We had a dependable sitter for them all.

 

So Saturday rolls around and to our surprise, We now have one Child with a sitter. 11 hours before the show starts one calls and says her kids are sick and she cant watch Molly. The other got carried away with life and forgot. What are we going to do now?? I spent a few hours trying to find back up sitters. No luck. It just wasn't meant to happen. I posted the tickets online for anyone who wanted them. I had a few people interested but no one ever came to get them.

 

We didn't get to go see Clay Walker. But what happened that night will mean so much more to my children later in life. We had a family movie night. We played games and colored as a family.  

I had a whole conversation with my oldest about *gasp* puberty. I grew up with mostly girls in the house. So that was awkward at first. I knew sooner or later it would happen. He is at the age he is getting hair everywhere and asking about it. Sit down Blake, let's talk. 

 

Supper time rolled around. Devin wanted to help. He begged me to help. The stove top was already full. I had nothing else to cook. I told him to grab a can of peas out of the cabinet. He learned how to cook peas in the microwave. He learned how to measure a tablespoon of butter. He learned a lifetime lesson. 

My youngest son let my cut his hair. Let me remind you he hasnt had a hair cut in about 9 months(he had a self grown mullet). You are probably thinking "what's so special about that?" He has major sensory issues. Just washing his hair with soap is a fight, let alone buzzing it off with clippers. But we took it slow and it took nearly a hour. It happened!! The mullet was finally gone. 

 

Molly, my sweet Molly. 10 o'clock rolls around and she asked me to braid her hair. It's a weekend so why not? We can all sleep in tomorrow morning. Not only did she get to have her hair braided. She learned how to braid. So she braided her own hair. Needless to say every doll in the house has braids. She even tried to braid the dogs hair. 

 

After bedtime stories and prayers I crawled into bed with 6 tickets (planning to throw them in the trash as I walked by can)As I cling tightly to them, I thought, I have 6 tickets that remind me of the time I "almost" meet Clay Walker. 6 tickets to remind me I am mom of 4, so going out isn't much of a option. 6 tickets to remind of the time I "almost" had a babysitter. 6 tickets to remind me that we will probably never get this opportunity again. 

Then I realized my kids won't remember that time we dropped them off at a sitters house to go see Clay Walker. They will remember all the memories we made on the night momma and daddy spent with them. After all the favorite memories are never planned at all.
It’s no mistake that God gave us the gift of memory. I think the most important way to build memories is spending time with your kids.  
What better way to show your love for your kids than to give them your time and make memories. Our Father in Heaven is the same way. His desire to commune with us is a mirror into the importance of parents spending time with their children. Can you remember a time when God’s presence was so real that the only thing you wanted to do all day was to stay there? In that moment, you made a memory with the Lord.

I need to frame theses. I think this Friday I will. Not as a reminder of what we missed but a reminder of what we could have missed if we would have went.



"I AM 1 IN 4"

Once again we have lost another pregnancy.

Okay, it’s been a long time since I’ve written, and a lot of crazy stuff has happened, some good, some bad. Anyways, I knew that one day I'd write this blog. 7 confirmed pregnancy test. But only 4 births. Yes, I'm the mother of 7 beautiful children. I am blessed with children here on earth, and I'm blessed to have children in Heaven. I am 1 in 4. I'm opening up a part of my heart to the world that I've kept closed too long.

On May 15th( a day after my birthday)I found out I was pregnant a day after I missed my period. For the record weren't trying, and I was scared and confused about my feelings. I'll be honest I was terrified. We already had 4. Michael was okay with the thought of having another. I cried. We really didn't need another one at the time. That first night I went to bed crying with Michaels hand rubbing my belly and telling me everything was gonna be fine. Shortly afterwards I found myself looking at baby clothes, and We were even discussing names. The excitement was starting to really kick in.
 

Then one July day I went to the emergency room with strong pain and bleeding. I was sitting in the waiting room and started bleeding everywhere. To the point they had to call for clean up. I remember asking God to either stop the bleeding or just hurry up and take the baby, I had already had enough with a miscarriage a few years before. Finally we got called back. They had me pee in a cup and put on a hospital gown, the whole work up. Then they took me for a scan.

I was rolled into the ultrasound technician’s room and he placed the cold ultrasound probe on my small pregnant bump. For about 5 minutes he pushed buttons, took measurements, but didn't say a thing to me. I was getting irritated and asked him if everything was alright. He said I had to talk to my doctor. My heart sank. He squinted at the screen. He said he would be right back. I think I knew deep down after all the pain and blood there would be nothing there. I laid on that hospital bed it seemed like 30 long minutes before anyone came and rolled me back to my room. I sit hand in hand with Michael just looking at the door knowing the enormous possibility that we lost our baby. Then the door handle moved. That's when the ER doctor came in to give me my results. "I am so sorry but we found no heartbeat." Words that will forever haunt me. The flood of tears ran down.  Part of me actually felt very emotionless. I felt numb. I felt betrayed, once again, by my body. We lost our baby. I lost another baby. Was it a boy or girl?? Was it my fault?? What did I do wrong??

At home I climbed into bed. I cried and I felt pure GUILT. I am MOM. I am supposed to protect my child. I cried and cried. I laid in bed most of the day and then got up to to take a shower. I know it’s strange, but the shower is where I go whenever I am really upset or hurt. It makes me feel better and is a good place to pray and be alone. I remember sitting there in the tub letting the shower water run all over my head, crying and wondering why this had happened. What did I do?? Why did God allow this to happen once again?? I was upset with God. I felt  like God had given me something and then changed his mind.

 It was then that I remembered a verse from the Bible: “…the Lord gave and the lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). I realized that God had given me this baby, He could also choose to take it home to be with Him if that was His will. I had a sudden peace at the thought.

More than one in seven pregnancies result in miscarriage. Miscarriage seems so rare until you find out it isn't and for that reason alone people should know that it CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. I am 27and have had no surgeries or medical complications in my life and still, I went through this 3 times.                   
 

Sadly miscarriage is one of the most common and significant losses in a woman’s life, yet no one talks about it, no one openly discusses it and no one understands it. Sharing stories of miscarriage often helps those who are grieving heal, and those who may be in the midst feel connected.
 

 Sources vary, but many estimate that approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage; and some estimates are as high as 1 in 3. If you include loss that occurs before a positive pregnancy test, some estimate that 40% of all conceptions result in loss. 

Although statistics can vary slightly from one source to the next, here is a general account (based primarily on information provided by the March of Dimes) of the frequency of miscarriages in the United States:

•       There are about 4.4 million confirmed pregnancies in the U.S. every year.
•       900,000 to 1 million of those end in pregnancy losses EVERY year.
•       More than 500,000 pregnancies each year end in miscarriage (occurring during the first 20 weeks).
•       Approximately 26,000 end in stillbirth (considered stillbirth after 20 weeks)
•       Approximately 19,000 end in infant death during the first month.
•       Approximately 39,000 end in infant death during the first year.
•       Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage; some estimates are as high as 1 in 3. If you include loss that occurs before a positive pregnancy test, some estimate that 40% of all conceptions result in loss.
•       Approximately 75% of all miscarriages occur in the first trimester.
•       An estimated 80% of all miscarriages are single miscarriages.  The vast majority of women suffering one miscarriage can expect to have a normal pregnancy next time.
•       An estimated 19% of the adult population has experienced the death of a child (this includes miscarriages through adult-aged children).